Big Head
Even animals experience loss. I am certain about this because this morning, as I stepped into the office, I noticed an unfamiliar cat sitting outside our gate, peering in but motionless. She reminded me of Big Head, a kitten we found lost in our compound a couple of days ago.
Big Head had been crying non-stop since last Friday. We couldn’t find the source of the crying, but we could hear it, and it was loud. Finally over the weekend, Memed and Dedy discovered the little one in our attic space. How it got there, we don’t know, but apparently, there were three kittens, and Big Head was the only one still crying.
When I first saw Big Head, he/she looked blind, with pus covering the eyes. It could hardly get around; it tried gallantly, but kept falling. And it couldn’t stop crying. I estimated the kitten was at most just 2 weeks old. Shahrum patched it up real good, cleaned the eyes so it could see again, but we just couldn’t get it to feed. The mom was nowhere to be seen, and we knew it was only going to be a matter of days before Big Head would die from starvation. Big Head was not a cute kitten, but it was in desperate need of care.
We put Big Head (I call it this because the head was disproportionately enormous compared to the malnourished body) in a cardboard carton so that at least it wouldn’t run into trouble. There are dogs next door, and this street is full of hungry cats. The least we could do for it was give it a chance. The next day, we brought a tiny blanket (made up of an old cushion cover from my home).
Initially, I had cause for optimism. Big Head seemed to respond a little to our care. During the day, in particular, Memed’s daughter would play with it on the lawn and, I thought, it appeared mildly content. At least it stopped crying incessantly.
But it still wouldn’t drink the milk we put before it, and it started to shiver yesterday. Even Memed’s little girl looked glum.
So when I saw that cat outside our gate this morning, I knew Big Head had passed away. I asked Memed what happened. He said the kitten finally died last night. The mom actually came into our compound, looked inside its box, saw the body and left. She didn’t take it with her. But this view didn’t tally perfectly with what I thought was happening before me - that the mom couldn’t let go. Of course, there are further questions to complicate my own suspicions too. How could I be so sure this was the mom? And if it were really her, where had she been all this time while her baby was starving? But such questioning ultimately only says more about our own human values.
So when Shahrum (whose eyes clearly glistened) and Memed were digging up a hole in the lawn to bury Big Head, and we heard some meowing outside, a mere two feet away, just beyond the iron fence, I walked round to take a look. Sure enough, the mom was sitting by our garbage heap, making that barely audible, sad cry.
Big Head in the state we found him
I can see clearly now
Big Head in slightly happier times
Even a child knows Big Head doesn’t have much further to go now
It looked like a peaceful passing
RIP
March 15th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
Kitten do not take well to the milk that we human consume. Actually its not suited to them. It takes a lot to care for a few weeks old kitten. They need to be bottle fed every 4/5hrs (just like babies) with special milk formula that can be bought from the pet store. They hardly survive w/o their mother, but there are exception. They are also prone to cat flu which causes pus/milky fluid at their eyes.
March 16th, 2007 at 3:57 am
I didn’t know Big Head. But I did help name him. I also took great joy in hearing about his daily progress. And for that I can’t help but feel culpable for his passing.